First there was wheat. Then someone said, “I know, let’s grind it up, mix it with water and yeast and cook it. We could call it ‘bread’. And that’s pretty much how things stood for centuries, until someone decided that it would be better if they removed most of the nutritional value, cooked it over water so that is was steamed, slice it, wrap it and stick it on a shelf where it will last for ages and thus be more cost effective. Welcome to the modern world.
Along Came An Artisan
An artisan is a skilled craft worker who makes or creates things by hand that may be functional or decorative or edible. It will also be expensive.
One such decided one day to take ‘bread’ and make it better and sell it to wealthier people. The traditions vary but basically artisan bread is made by taking ancient strains of wheat grown by monks in the lost valleys of the Cheviot Hills, making it into a dough that is hand-kneaded on the oil-anointed thighs of virgin bakers. It is then moulded into shapes and sold in little niche markets.
I Just Want A Cup Of Coffee Please
As you know there are many cafés today that sell all manner of coffee beverages. It can get very confusing when all you need is a hot strong cup of Java. These days artisan coffee is also available and I quote, “Roasting is a marriage of science and sensibility. The science involves controlling the roasting medium via the roasters knowledge of the roasting machine, the raw product (green beans) and the roaster’s visual and tasting sensibility”.
It’s all getting a bit daft. There is only so much you can do to bread and coffee without getting into the realms of fantasy and losing the plot altogether. Which brings us on to…
That same, ‘now what are we going to come up with to shift product?’ attitude has wormed its way into the mainstream car market as motor manufacturers battle among themselves to come up with a big new idea. Essentially, internal combustion cars are probably about as good as they can be. They are well made, the safety kit is getting better and better but it is the same for all. It’s on the inside where it is getting a bit over the top. The press vehicle I am currently driving is very good indeed. It is a middle-ranker on the trim variant yet is chock full of things I am never going to use.
I already own four devices for staying in touch with the internet of lies. One of the good old things that a car was useful for was as an escape from the world. A sanctuary. Now it seems we are not going to be allowed that.
I don’t want to charge my phone. How many people in their daily lives truthfully do that in their car? Don’t we all put our phones on charge overnight, or cheaper still, in the office at work? Possibly not, since it has just been reported that nine million Britons are ignoring the law against using phones on when driving.
If we are going to have new technology to counter distracted driving (an ingredient I do like) then let’s make it soon and then perhaps, at least in part, cars will be cars again and not artisan bread. I’ve had all I can eat. Geoff Maxted